Sun, 07/15/2012 - 15:12 — davidchen
“No one, now mother is dead. Nothing nearer than aunts and cousins in America. I suppose I shall see them all again one day. But they hardly count over here.”
“Why don’t you get married?” he said. “How old are you?”
“I’m twenty-five. How old are you?”
“Thirty-three.”
“You might almost be any age.— I don’t know why I don’t get married. In a way, I hate earning my own living — yet I go on — and I like my work —”
“What are you doing now?”
“I’m painting scenery for a new play — rather fun — I enjoy it. But I often wonder what will become of me.”
“In what way?”
She was almost affronted.
“What becomes of me? Oh, I don’t know. And it doesn’t matter, not to anybody but myself.”
“What becomes of anybody, anyhow? We live till we die. What do you want?”
“Why, I keep saying I want to get married and feel sure of something. But I don’t know — I feel dreadful sometimes — as if every minute would be the last. I keep going on and on — I don’t know what for — and IT keeps going on and on — goodness knows what it’s all for.”
“You shouldn’t bother yourself,” he said. “You should just let it go on and on —”
“But I MUST bother,” she said. “I must think and feel —”
“You’ve no occasion,” he said.
“How —?” she said, with a sudden grunting, unhappy laugh. Then she lit a cigarette.