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I laughed again, and she squeezed my hand. “I’m just kidding. Back then, I used to love how you looked in the mornings, right after you put on your suit. You were tall and trim, a young go-getter out to make a good life for us. You were very attractive.” Her words warmed me. For the next hour—while we perused the catering menu over coffee and listened to the music floating up from downstairs—I noticed her eyes occasionally on my face in a way that felt almost unfamiliar. The effect was quietly dizzying. Perhaps she was remembering the reasons she’d married me, just as she’d related them to me.

“There were a lot of reasons.” “Like what?” “You want specifics?” “Humor me. I just told you all my secrets.” She smiled at my insistence. “All right. Why I married you . . . Well, you were honest and hardworking and kind. You were polite and patient, and more mature than any guy I’d dated before. And when we were together, you listened in a way that made me feel like I was the only woman in the world. You made me feel complete, and spending time with you just seemed right.” She hesitated for a moment. “But it wasn’t just about my feelings. The more I got to know you, the more I was certain that you’d do whatever it took to provide for your family. That was important to me.

I gave a halfhearted smile. “But I’ve been thinking about those things a lot these days.” “It doesn’t sound like something you’d do.” “No, it doesn’t,” I admitted. “But it’s still true.” Jane cocked her head. “I haven’t been perfect, either, you know.” “You’ve been a lot closer than I’ve been.” “That’s true,” she said with a shrug. I laughed despite myself, feeling the tension ease a little.?“And yes, you have worked a lot,” she went on. “Probably too much. But I always knew you were doing it because you wanted to provide for our family.

Even back then, I knew it was important to her, and I remember making a note to do everything she wanted. However, I got so embroiled in some messy proceedings relating to a large estate that her birthday arrived before I could make the arrangements.?Instead, at the last minute I had my secretary pick out a stylish tennis bracelet, and on the way home, I convinced myself that because it had been expensive, she would regard it as equally special. When she unwrapped it, I promised that I’d make the necessary plans for a wonderful evening together, an evening even better than the one she’d described.

I can’t even remember how many I missed because I had late meetings that I refused to reschedule. And everything else I missed—the volleyball games and track meets, piano concerts, school plays . . . It’s a wonder that the kids have forgiven me, let alone seem to like me.” She nodded in acknowledgment but said nothing. Then again, there was nothing she could say. I took a deep breath and plunged on. “I know I haven’t always been the best husband, either,” I said quietly. “Sometimes I wonder why you’ve put up with me for as long as you have.” At that, her eyebrows rose. “I know you spent too many evenings and weekends alone, and I put all the responsibility for child rearing on you.